hello

just got my neuropsychological evaluation results:

• level 1 asd
• turbo adhd
• eating disorder (more specifically, pica syndrome)

also a bunch of other things that aren't disorders themselves (neuroticism is the only one i can remember)

honestly, the primary feeling to me coming out of this diagnosis is "it's not my fault i'm a total mess". i thought the asd diagnosis would be more validating, but the fact that i'm in the 99 percentile in a lot of aspects of adhd really validates how i felt about this shit being really hard for me but easy for other people. it really flipped my perspective from "jfc i can't get my shit together" to "holy shit, how am i still alive and able to earn a living while living 1000 miles away from my family??"

i'm not gonna let this justifying not even trying to be better, but it makes me more assured that i am really trying my best, that failures will happen, and that i should be kind to myself and honest about my limitations

also, i bought a dishwasher and my depression has been cured. why wasn't i told about this before?

anyway, hello

I know I am and I believe it, but it still feels foreign to me, maybe because I'm recently diagnosed.

Hey everyone,

I’m reaching out because I’ve been feeling really misunderstood lately, and I’m hoping to get some perspectives from others who might share similar experiences. I’ve been struggling with how my ADHD, particularly with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), is coming across to people, and I’ve even been called a narcissist, which is honestly heartbreaking and frustrating.

Here’s the thing: I know that people sometimes see my need for affirmation and validation and think it’s me being arrogant or seeking attention for the wrong reasons. But it’s so much more complicated than that.

With ADHD, my self-esteem has always been fragile, and I’ve often felt like I’m different or not quite “fitting in.” I know that sounds cliché, but it’s real for me. Because of RSD, when I get even a small whiff of rejection, criticism, or being left out, it feels like it hits me harder than it would for most people. I react more intensely to these things, and it can feel like a punch to the gut. So, to counteract that, I’ve developed a way of building up my confidence, and that’s where the need for affirmation comes in. It’s not about seeking attention, it’s about needing emotional reassurance to make myself feel secure, to feel like I belong.

But when I post something on social media or share a success with friends, I’m not seeking the spotlight. I genuinely don't want to be the center of attention or for people to think I’m showing off. What I’m craving, though, is the positive affirmation that makes me feel like I’m not a failure, like I’m not invisible.

The thing is, some people see this behavior and immediately think I’m being a narcissist. And that hurts. Narcissism is a complex thing, but one thing I know is that I don’t lack empathy. I have an overactive sense of empathy (thanks, ASD), but sometimes it doesn’t come across because I struggle with social cues. For example, when I get defensive or react strongly to criticism, it’s not about feeling superior to anyone or being indifferent to their feelings,it's about feeling emotionally triggered by rejection. The narcissist stereotype doesn’t fit because I want to understand how others are feeling. I genuinely care about the people in my life, but I don’t always know how to show it the right way.

Another thing that gets me in trouble is how my ASD makes me interact socially. I have trouble understanding social dynamics and sometimes I’ll miss things that would seem obvious to others. For example, I might not pick up on someone’s frustration with me until it’s too late, or I’ll misinterpret how people are feeling. In these moments, it’s not that I’m trying to manipulate or use people,it’s that I simply don’t know how to navigate the situation because my brain is wired differently.

I’m not trying to make excuses, but I’m hoping that people can understand that what might look like narcissism is often me navigating a world that’s hard to understand and trying to keep my emotional world from collapsing in on itself.

The worst part is, the more I try to explain myself, the more I feel like I’m being misunderstood. I’ve been told that I come across as selfish, and it kills me, because deep down, I’m desperate for connection. I’m not trying to hurt people, I’m just trying to keep my self-esteem intact, to protect myself from feeling the crushing weight of rejection that I can’t always control. But every time someone calls me a narcissist or accuses me of being self-centered, it’s like a slap in the face. It feels like they don’t understand the real pain behind my actions.

I want to be genuine, to connect with others in meaningful ways, but my own brain sometimes gets in the way. I don’t want attention for attention's sake, but I do thrive on positive interactions. Just a simple word of affirmation or encouragement can help me feel like I’m seen. When people praise me or recognize something I’ve done well, it lifts me up, but it’s not about ego; it’s about survival. It’s emotional nourishment, and I need it.

If any of you have struggled with these same challenges, where ADHD, and ASD are making you feel like you’re always walking a fine line between seeking support and being misunderstood as a narcissist, I would really appreciate your insights. How do you cope with the intense need for validation without feeling like you’re being seen as self-absorbed? How do you navigate the pain of rejection or misinterpretation?

And for those who have experienced similar dynamics in their friendships or relationships, what’s been helpful for you in explaining these patterns? How do you manage the balance between needing affirmation and still trying to be a good, empathetic person?

Thanks for listening. I’m really just hoping for some understanding here.

I have always struggled with self-esteem, especially when it comes to RSD. To cope, I’ve found that repeating certain positive affirmations like “I can do anything,” “I’m awesome,” etc. helps me feel more confident in myself. It’s not about being arrogant, but more like a mental trick to push through my insecurities and feel better in the moment.

The thing is, some people around me are starting to accuse me of being a narcissist because of it. I’ll admit, part of me does enjoy the attention that comes with these affirmations, and for a while, I just leaned into it. But now it feels like it's spiraling a bit out of control. I’m wondering if I’ve crossed some line between self-empowerment and self-centeredness.

I don’t want to seem arrogant or like I’m trying to manipulate anyone, but I really don’t know how else to keep my confidence up. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you manage the fine line between boosting your self-esteem and coming off as narcissistic, especially when dealing with ADHD or autism?

we have created a signal support group to connect a supportive network of people struggling with cptsd, bpd and other forms of trauma. please feel free to vent, trauma dump and be together during tough times 🩷

https://signal.group/#CjQKIDyYlgFaxeDUSqLmJBwWiVzGgbtBC0exF3kew0J4A-3LEhA9q2epnMPa-nL_gmAqa2Xo

I've been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and I'm pretty familiar with the difficulties and increased anxiety/depression in day-to-day life.

Overall, I'm doing pretty well now. If people talk to me, they would not know I experience any difficulties in life. (Although I'm currently not working). I'm not really that stressed in general, I'm doing much better socially, capable of getting things done everyday, and not feeling terribly tired every day anymore.

But sometimes, seemingly unannounced, I get these bouts of severe discomfort. It feels to me like anxiety, but it's not preceded by any worrying thoughts. (as far as I can tell).

When I feel this, I usually have to lie down or I might start coughing and vomiting. And I will not be able to get myself to do anything anymore. (not even just do something I usually enjoy.)

This can last for an hour, but sometimes it's almost a whole day. Afterwards, I seem to be perfectly fine again.

Is this something that anybody else experiences? Or is there something else going on? Everytime I go to the doctor to explain this, they don't seem to be worried and tell me that it's probably fine.

But fear for having this happen again (And it seems to happen quite frequently), is what is keeping me from making any commitments in terms of my life or work.

Hi all

It's quite common for people with adhd (and autism) to have problems with executive functioning and working memory. Which can influence a bunch of things like being able to follow steps, remembering where you left things, being able to follow a conversation, concentrating on some task, etc...

I've been diagnosed for both (autism more recently) and got to know that based on the tests of my assessment that my working memory is quite heavily impaired, but the rest of my mind works quite normal.

In day to day life, this can be rather bothersome, but I usually find some way to deal with it. But when sick, or when I had a bad sleep, suddenly I become almost incapable of basic tasks. Unable to prepare food, make appointments, or work in any way.

It's quite normal that this impacts your working memory in a negative way. (Even for neurotypicals, it's the same). But there seems to be this threshold where things become almost impossible. Where you start forgetting things you have to do only moments later.

I'm looking for ways to cope with these moments. Obviously when sick, you need rest, and eat enough. So I'm not looking to force myself to be able to work while sick. But sometimes it's so bad that I even forget to rest, forget how to cook, forget how to order food online, forget how to take care of myself. Which usually results in me being sick and worse off for a much longer time.

Things I've found that help me:

• Meditation (Incredibly difficult when sick, but every bit seems to help)
• Medication (ADHD meds seem to help a bit, if I'm using them at the moment, I seem to feel much better, even when it's mostly physical discomfort. )
• Committing skills/knowledge to long-term memory (This is difficult because usually it requires extra time and calm moments where you can focus on it. It helped me a lot for cooking. Practicing the basics makes it much easier to get cooking even if I feel terrible)

Any other suggestions as to what might be good ways to improve working memory and make sure that I stay functional to make sure I can take care of myself?

Coming out of paralysis and into power. Time to catch up on everythingggggg 🤘😎🎉

cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/16044688

> Brain enlargement may be linked to symptom severity in kids with autism spectrum disorder > > Specifically, social and communication symptoms appear to be more severe in children who display brain overgrowth on MRI scans. Experts believe this overgrowth may be associated with alterations in the activity of the Ndel1 enzyme, which is related to embryonic neuron differentiation and migration. > > Study: https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-024-00602-8 > >

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out to ask for advice and insights on how you manage emotional dysregulation. Lately, I’ve been finding it challenging to handle intense emotions, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere or are triggered by small things.

I know this is something that many people in the AuDHD community experience, so I’d love to hear about any strategies, tools, or practices that have worked for you. Whether it’s specific techniques, coping mechanisms, or lifestyle changes, I’m open to anything that might help.

Thank you in advance for your support and for sharing your experiences. I really appreciate hearing from others who understand what this is like.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Hi all, I just wanted to say hello. I’m an adult and came to realize in the past few years only that I’m probably on the spectrum given some of my tendencies. When I was a kid there was no label autism other than the most extreme cases. As it turns out, my son - late teens - is on the spectrum and also has ADHD. He struggles with a variety of aspects but he’s also strong and insightful. He learns about himself more all the time, and I also have the benefit of being able to relate to some of his challenges.

So I just thought I’d say hi; very glad to have discovered this community.

I’m around most of the time to comment or converse.

Best wishes to everyone, and I’m hoping to have some rewarding conversations in the future.

Steps taken:

1. Wake up
2. Pop bloons
3. Get out of bed (only when biologically necessary)
4. Take pills
5. Eat breakfast
6. Sit on toilet
7. Watch half a dozen videos on how to Do Thing
8. Rest aching back by laying down
9. Watch half a dozen videos about how to maybe not Do Thing and Do Better Thing instead (that will definitely take more than the day of work I had allowed for it, be backbreaking, and something I have never done before, but will also be more permanent and beneficial in the long run)
10. Discuss Thing with spouse
11. Nod off
12. Open Big Box Hardware Store app and put supplies in cart
13. Price compare Do Thing and Do Better Thing
14. Fret about day getting late
15. Get out of bed when absolutely biologically necessary
16. Eat dinner
17. Watch videos unrelated to Thing
18. Post about it on lemmy as I watch the sun go down

Still left to do:

1. Thing

!

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/18216456

Hallo Leute! Ich habe meine ADHS diagnose bekommen, und darf mich jetzt wirklich als ADHSler bezeichnen.

Ich hätte Lust auf eine Austauschgruppe zu etlichen Dingen wie Medikamenten, Erfahrungen, Apps, Strategien etc.

Um etwas Datenschutz zu garantieren, würde ich sagen alle interessierten schreiben mir eine private Nachricht, mit einem lustigen Spruch und ihrem Wunsch für die Gruppe.

(Bot-Abwehr ist nervig...)

So I know that despite the classic portrayal of an autist being someone who is asexual, many of us are at the opposite end of the scale. Yet if you search for Lemmy communities, there are several for asexual folk and none for hypersexual folk. Is there any good resources for us to rant/support each other/talk about our struggles? If it were specifically for neurodivergent folk, that would be a great bonus.

My train of thought has gone down the same path hundreds of times when bored. There is no new realisation about that topic that remains to be had. And yet every time my inner monologue goes down the same well trodden path. It almost hurts at this point. I don't really choose the topic, it's usually just one I've come into contact with repeatedly and they change over the years. I commute by bus and the monologue is always at the same point at the same point in the journey. I am going crazy. How do I turn this off.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/15732362

I'm curious to see the types of jobs and work fields that us audhders thrive in since a lot of jobs usually just end up burning us out.

Anyone found a way to make a steady income and not hate the job?

Image: That Would Be Great meme template

Caption: If you could just not dance down the aisles, touch everything, and tell everyone the pros and cons of all the products you see...that would be great.

I can't work on maths problems: by the time I key a calculation into my calculator I've forgotten what I was actually calculating.

When I open my phone to write an email, by the time I have the 'new email' screen open I've forgotten what I wanted to write and to whom.

When I go off looking for something in another room, I forget what I was looking for by the time I've entered it. I constantly mutter 'What was I doing? What was I doing?'

This is so debilitating -- I can't live like this. What can I do?