Howdy, Y'all fellow americans!

Brilliant art except for one annoying detail. Fixed it

This reminds me of when my foot got stuck in the mud. So cumbersome. Good work, am i right fellas?
Oh heavens no, will someone please think of the advertisers!!!
- Hell no.
🙏

Comprehensive collection of American baseball player names as imagined/made up by Japanese developers of Fighting Baseball in 1995 due to their lack of licensing rights. Never gets old.

The gift that keeps on giving 😂

I about died when I saw the Simpsons reference this in their Death Note parody. Deep cut!
- TIL The Simpsons did a Death Note parody. Just watched the whole thing -- it's exactly as good as it sounds like it is
I love Mike Truk lmao
- I'm from Louisiana, I feel like somewhere in my schooling I shared a class with Mike Truk and Bobson Dugnutt
Kerry Carcia was the leader of The Crateful Dead
Something about the simple elegance of "Todd Bonzalez" gets me every time.
Bobson Dugnutt, Snarry Shitwon. I'm dyin' over here. Pure gold!
- Bobson Dugnutt's always been my favorite.
- What? Rarr Dick didn't make the cut for you? Lol
Perfect NPC names for a soulslike game
- Next to John Dark Souls and John Sekiro, of course
Hey it's me, Jeromy Gride. I'm dying.
- Fraven Pooth here, pleasure to meet you.
My favorite knuckleballer, Tim Wakedield
Elvis Crushel got me

Americans: hmmm it does kinda remind me when my tractor got stuck in the mud.

Jokes on you, I don't own a tractor! (It did remimd me of that time my pickup truck got stuck in the mud though)
- I don't own a tractor
  
  So you rent or lease one?
Mud? Must be nice. We ain't seem moren'a tenth in weeks. Ponds nearabout dry. Hope'n the Good Lord blesses us with a shower soon.
- Your lips to God's ears
The one thing that unites all Americans is dunking on American stereotypes.
pickup trucks looking longingly at the tractor stuck in the mud, dreaming of a day where they might leave the pothole-filled asphalt and actually be used for something productive

Howdy fellas, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my revolver every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the American and the British accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

apparently western-wear is a thing in Japan. and honestly, they rock it better than we do!
- Botswana has metal cowboys and they're the fucking bomb

The Simpsons eating at a restaurant called America Town in Tokyo:

Waiter: Howdy, gangstas. I am average American Joe salary-man waiter. Don't ask me, I don't know anything, I am product of American education system! I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics.

Homer: Hahahaha he’s really got our number!

HOT DOG, used as an exclamation is the funniest burn

Animal crossing exclamation
I know! It should be "hot diggity dog".

Sure, Japanese writers smash a bunch of English-sounding syllables together and it's funny but when I make up Chinese names by throwing pots and pans down the stairs suddenly I'm the racist.

Well, it's the fact that you did that then reported it on the news is what people took exception to.

Do you have any non-dairy creamer?

I'll use my credit card!

God that video was good

If'n that boy wants to play a lil Possum in the Graveyard, I ain't see no harm, am I right fellas? 🤣🤣🤣

Possum in the Graveyard… is that one where we stuck a possum in Ricky’s dishwasher & fed it nothing but circus peanuts til Ricky got back from jail?

That damn thing cut him up so bad 🤣 I’m a little sorry he lost an eye, but that was funny as hell.

Travis Smithson is a DAMN FINE COWBOY and I won't hear NOBODY tarnish his good God-fearin' American name!

Relevant ProZD

still strange to see "welp" has integrated into communication in this way.

Well is a word (a place to get water, and how you can be described while getting it)

Whelp is a word (the act of birthing adorable canines)

"welp" isn't related to whelping. It's a way to write the word "well" when it's used as an interjection (meaning it has no definition). The word is often pronounced with a terminal -p and people started writing the letter in text.
- $ well -p
  
  bash: well: command not found
  
  I honestly don't know what I'm doing with my life, but saw terminal and... welp...

The "am I right" irks me so bad. It just screams "I NEED EXTERNAL JUSTIFICATION. PLEASE SOMEONE NOTICE ME." And on it's own that's not all that terrible, except it's been shamelessly used by bots to plug ads.