Neurotypical here, had a realization about my 'type' of romantic interest.
Neurotypical here, had a realization about my 'type' of romantic interest.
Cishet male. In no way do I mean offense or have I tried to take advantage of lower functioning individuals, that's just sick. Best I can figure, I'm a typical. Maybe I'm a little crazy; but who isn't.
During a discussion about my son's neurodivergency, I realized I have a 'type' of woman. (Son is technically stepson, but he's my boy.) I tend to be attracted to high functioning women that are on the spectrum.
I've been in four relationships with divergent women, three serious and two extended friends with benefits. I've been in two serious relationships with typical women. Many flings with typical women. Figure that's pretty statistically unlikely.
In my experience, divergent women tend to have a refreshing openness in communication. Painfully honest. Direct. They have some weird stuff that can be alternately cute and irritating. When sleeping they either don't like to snuggle or like being an octopus. (My preference is octopus but my wife only tolerates some side contact.) They like to discuss instead of argue. Sexually adventurous and willing to work for satisfaction. They prefer precision in statements. I find myself writing in an extended way that I don't engage in with other people and try and pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Pretty sure this doesn't apply to all women on the spectrum, just my 'type'.
I dunno, just a strange realization, especially at this stage of life. It's not a fetish, just something that has occurred.
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It's the 'tism rizz
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Me too. I'm probably NT or close to it. Connect really well with NDs in all kinds of relationships because I'm weird in my own ways. NDs have less expectations of "normal" in my experience, and are better at communicating what they do expect instead of playing games
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"NDs have less expectations of "normal" in my experience, and are better at communicating what they do expect instead of playing games"
Yes. I hate relational game playing. Very averse to it and is probably the primary cause of anger and strife that I've had in relationships.
I also like the acceptance.
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I've never sought any diagnoses, but almost all my friends and romantic partners are some flavour of ND, so I have to assume I'm not as perfectly NT as I thought. Similar experience as you. It's not a deliberate preference for me, it's just how my life has worked.
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How to find autistic girls, pls. I keep running into the normies.
I thought about a dating app/site for NDs, but figured it would be too susceptible to abuse by manipulators.
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I recommend a fishing rod with an incorrect fact or figure on the end.
In reality, no clue. I'm looking back on a pattern, it isn't something I sought.
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Same here, but I didn't realize it. I always used the term 'weird' to describe my type, but 'neurodivergent' is much more accurate. I've always sought those qualities; now I know why.
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Birds of a feather, flock together - just saying'! Esp cause I snuck a pickie-wickie at your bits. a) Sorry you're in chronic pain. That fucking sucks. I too am in chronic pain. It fucking sucks. Some days are "better" than others but no days are like they used to be. You just pray for the goodun's b) You might just also have a type (and it sounds like you do) and you probably could find this type in any kind of person you just so happen to keep finding it in neurodivergent individuals. So I think it might be a bias.
But it sounds like you might have something going on, especially because you type like me. And I am a fucking AuDHD queen. So you know, have a think on it.
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Life is pain. I can do anything I used to do, although sometimes I can only do it once. Better than being dead.
I'm of above average intelligence, largely self educated. Very redneck/country so it affects the way I write and speak. My writing and speech are very different from each other. I have people be shocked when speaking to me for the first time after corresponding, especially in business settings. Non-southern people often have trouble understanding me unless I slow down and enunciate more. I also speak in colloquialisms a lot. It was the way I learned to speak growing up. I frequently mispronounce words because I've only ever read them.
I might have a touch of the ADHD, but tend to be the life of the party, comfortable in a lot of casual social situations. I'm comfortable meeting new people and getting them friendly quickly. I'm good at finding common ground and getting others to talk about their interests. Non of these behaviors seem to be particularly on the spectrum.
Like I said, I'm probably a little crazy, had a crazy life. However, I'm not on the spectrum as far as I can tell. My experiences with spectrum women could totally be coincidence but I don't think it's statistically likely.
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I was just more so saying that you might be neurodivergent as a whole - because it's been proven (in some recent study I believe I saw on here posted by the Eraserhead person) that neurodivergent individuals have their own set of social cues which they understand better than neurotypical people. So if you were ADHD, and your partner is autistic - than you probably understand one another better than a neurodivergent x neurotypical couple. Especially if it keeps going. And yes, I am the same way, but I am pretty tired now as compared to how I was relatively pain free =P! I like folks, they're one of my hyper-focuses so it's all yummy-gummy stuff to me. Also I am "typically" from the south, but I don't really think so. I am way more nor-eastern and even the folks I grew up with just spoke blackish noreast-y accents. But with a southern touch. But yeah, I hear you on enuciation, because mine is shit. What does the dog say? "Woof." What is the wild dog animal? "Woof." Eh, I've got a certain something because the elders of my generation said stuff like warsh and dubya. But I also say "aarange" so ehhhhhhhhh.
Either way, a year ago you sounded like your pain was killing you emotionally and physically which was why I was sending my condolences. But in general, I think it's really good to be realistic about your pain and work within the parameters you can. Especially if you've got kids. I'm glad you're staying afloat =)
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I'm an autistic guy, but I feel I would be your type. Good to know that NTs want that.
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It's not even really a matter of want. It's more complimentary strengths and weaknesses. The combination is more than the sum of the parts. The right partner makes you a better person.
I lived in a town full of engineers. I've seen so many autistic men married to typical women it's a total stereotype. Figure typical women are more accepting than typical men due to US culture. I've seen quite a few gay pairings like that as well. Mostly seem to be pretty happy relationships.
*Edit, grammar fix
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I'm an autistic guy, but I feel I would be your type. Good to know that NTs /want/ that.
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Would that mean Manic Pixie Dream Girls are your type?
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Lawd no. My kind of girl is functional and keeps her crazy in check.
For instance, my wife handles the money. She's better with those kinds of numbers and it makes her feel secure. She likes doing the taxes: which is the good kind of crazy. Does a better job than me on that. I stay out of it. Ask her before large purchases are made.
She expects me to lead on broad strategic decisions after discussion, she fills in details, I execute details. I do most of the physical things, deal with the people stuff and phone calls. She likes the paperwork. It's a pretty pleasant division of labor.
She has learned to hyper focus on her knitting, we have a lifetime supply of dish rags and some truly giant blankets. There's a Blanket based on some sort of Amish pattern that I'm going to have to figure out how to display. She also loves her trash TV. Watches the worst reality TV crap, 90 day fiance, Hoarders, angry cooking shows. She knits and watches TV while doing her remote job. Makes amazing money and uses those things to keep her quota to a reasonable excellent level instead of blowing the curve for her coworkers. I built her a pirate server that pulls any show she wants and automatically plays it for her.
If I buy something for her, I try and get it in pink or with a pig on it. She has an enormous pig figurine collection. I'm taking back her 'pig shelf' as it is a glass and wood cabinet from my family that I want to put in my study.
Inside the house the kitchen is her main room. I try not to cook even though I enjoy it. She rules that room and fixiates on producing amazing food. She's plotting something about clear acrylic shelves to hold her piggies. I'll execute once she has a plan and provides me with pictures or links of what she wants.
In many ways, we have some sort of idealized '50s lifestyle. Idealized, not actual. One of these days I'm going to catch her vacuuming in pearls and heels. She's bi and free to explore relationships with other women, for instance.
She's highly functional and doesn't do mania. I also know how to pet her the right way. It's an easy relationship.
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ND women ≠ MPDG
Please just don't.
They're people with quirks. There's nothing more to it.
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