Hello lovely ladies and friends, because of my situation I am basically forced to not be able to transition in any realistic capacity for the foreseeable future. I'm not exactly closeted but I live with very religious family members that would for sure get rid of me if I did try to transition. They already tried when they found out looking through my laptop.
I've accepted myself almost 3 years ago now but it's seeming more and more that she will never show herself. My current situation also prevents any odds of me moving out.
The only person I could be myself around irl we stopped talking due to issues and now I feel completely lost.
With that all said, what exactly can I do to let myself show as I so desperately want but cannot have?
Find a support group or friends that will allow you be yourself allow them. Bottling it all up and hiding it sucks and can make you feel worse over time. Even if it can't be your family, you need a safe space to be who you are.
I completely understand and I'm not sure of your particular situation, but you might find your current roadblocks removed at some point from a move or other life event. Once you get a straight bit of pavement just shove that gas pedal through the floor!
encrypt your hard drives and use a linux distribution for extra security on your laptop, then use the internet as a safe place to vent until you can move out or find a safe place to live.