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Dealing with being in the closet?

CW: transphobia

Hello lovely ladies and friends, because of my situation I am basically forced to not be able to transition in any realistic capacity for the foreseeable future. I'm not exactly closeted but I live with very religious family members that would for sure get rid of me if I did try to transition. They already tried when they found out looking through my laptop.

I've accepted myself almost 3 years ago now but it's seeming more and more that she will never show herself. My current situation also prevents any odds of me moving out.

The only person I could be myself around irl we stopped talking due to issues and now I feel completely lost.

With that all said, what exactly can I do to let myself show as I so desperately want but cannot have?

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