I'd probably go back to around 2000 and tell myself that my stupid decisions were going to catch up to me in about 24 years, and they will definitely cost me the relationship I have with only person in this world who had ever genuinely loved me, and that it will drive her mad and she will react in a most brutal and callous way.
I would remind myself that the way I think other people are feeling is almost always wrong, to some degree, and that i should listen better to her about her feelings while I still have a chance to salvage what was once true love.
I would explain that, if I'm not careful, I will misinterpret everything she says about her feelings, and i will lose all my friends and hobbies, one by one, trying to be someone for her that she doesn't even want.
I would describe the way it feels to be with her, then illustrate the way it will feel when she starts dating other guys while you beg her to please work with you on your relationship, and that it would already be too late no matter how much you want it to work.
I would suggest that, if I decide to proceed while ignoring all my other advice, then I should at least not buy a house with her in 2023 when she is so insistent. Just hold out for one more year before making that mistake.
She wanted to be my forever person, and i didn't know how to deserve that. We were fucking teenagers when we got together, and neither of us knew how to be. We were just spitballing.
And I'm a fucken dumdum.
I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway
Before the toilet, there was Little Big Skibidi
This will probably actually make it more confusing, but it's still worth it, and it's a Brazillion times better than skibidi toilet could ever dream...
I like to think that he forgets, keeps trying and then makes a new post about it
Billy Corrigan always sounds like an entitled 13 year old complaining that he didn't get as many chicken nuggies as his lil sister, and they gave her two sauces but he only got one... AGAIN!!!
Trauma looks different to everyone I guess.
He who truly knows, knows that he knows not
Or
The more you know, the more you realize you don't know.
But also, understanding that about yourself doesn't take more knowledge or intelligence than you currently have. As another user (darkdarkhouse)^ posted, you can understand how the brain works and still not have all the knowledge in the world (hard drive with a map/directory of the hard drive on it).
Change the combination on my luggage!
If you really wanted to have a good time, you could screen-shot everything as is and make that the desktop, then put all the real shortcuts into a folder on the desktop anywhere and watch the fun ensue
Eta: for extra entertainment, don't forget to hide the Taskbar
Imperial, obviously: F(reedom)T(ons) and fractions thereof. 1FT is the amount of data that it takes to store the entire King James edition of the New Testament and the Bill of Rights as a PDF.
The kom.bu.cha! mush.room! peo.ple! sit.ting a.round all day!
Perhaps that anyone of any religion is not also atheist.
Anyone in any theology believes in only their deity, but doesn't believe in the hundreds of other recorded, historical deities.
Even the theists are atheists.
This is so not untrue that it is almost not funny enough to be a joke. I still have back problems from those days
"Now, sir. We're looking at now, now. What's happening now is happening... now."
"What happened to then?"
"We missed it."
"When?!"
"Just now."
"When will then... be now?"
"Soon."