You're conflating 'mentioning' and 'focused on' here. Those cannot be simultaneously true. In my experience, whenever someone holds an unjustified negative opinion about discussion of pronouns, they're just seething with hate inside. It's one of those things that seems universally true, y'know? If you're transphobic just say it with your whole chest. Go ahead.
Nah man, anyone who refuses to respect me deserves me spitting in their face. If someone asks that you use pronouns of a certain kind for them, generally you should make an effort to do so, and generally not doing so is a shitty thing to do. If I introduce myself as "John" and someone insists on calling me "James", I am entirely in the right to insist on "John", and to become aggravated if they refuse. Likewise with pronouns.
Signed, Cis guy with he/him pronouns
Ain't hard to show a little respect when someone asks it of you; and if you refuse, they are in the right to demand it as a precondition for respectful interaction.
What I mean is that if somebody calls you James, you should walk away instead of crying and being mad about it like a narcissist that doesn't get what they want. It's the latter which many people are exhibiting nowadays.