Thank you so much for sharing! Interesting read. I'm so sorry you were shamed this much early in life. That stuff stays with you for a long time.

Have you researched polyamory? It kinda sounds like you could be poly, being in a good relationship but also wanting to pursue your attraction towards others. It's a perfectly fine way to have a relationship/ relationships, it just requires a lot of communication and for everyone to be on board!

My story, if you're interested :) I'm nearing 30.

I didn't grow up in an environment that was necessarily unsafe for queers, just suuuper cis-heteronormative. There were two openly queer people in my year in high school and as far as everyone else was concerned, that was those peoples entire personality. Out of my friends from high school that I've kept on touch with, 4/5 realized they were queer in their early 20s. That should tell you what kind of an environment that was. We were already singled out and not well liked because we weren't as wealthy as most of the students there, so it just wasn't emotionally safe to be different in additional ways. This was a public high school that was hard to get into, requiring top grades and interviews to attend.

Same story in my home town (I commuted to high school because there were better schools in the nearby city, so they're desperate places). One of my friends from there came out as lesbian at about 16 (she's since realized she's bi). It was the talk of the town. People had theories about what 'caused' it, such as her parents' divorce or her step father having a strong preference for sons over daughters. My mum would always say things like how she hoped her kids were straight, not that she wasn't ok with it, she just didn't want us to have it as hard as that girl.

I'm something like demi sexual too, which made it harder to figure out. In retrospect, I realize that I've had crushes on friends or classmates as a teen, but I just explained them to myself as omg she's so pretty and fun and smart, I want to be super close friends with her and also be like her. I don't think I had crushes on boys. But because of the Demi thing, I never had any sexual urges towards any of them. I guess I was vaguely horny, but that wasn't directed at people, more like just a hormonal thing. The rare times that I masturbated, I wouldn't think of or look at humans, let alone sex.

First time I experienced sexual attraction was after I started seeing my first bf the first year of college. He asked me out, I liked him as a person so I agreed. The sexual attraction developed during the dating process. I was in a relationship with him age ~19-25, so I didn't have opportunity to explore my sexuality with others. But after I realized that this was how attraction worked for me, I did a lot of thinking about myself and had conversations with my best friend, whose experience was similar. I guess that's how I realized I was bi (and so did my best friend).

I was single for a year in my mid twenties. I dated a little, made out with people at parties, had a few casual encounters. I realized that my attraction towards fem people can be more immediate, but I still need to know them at least a tiny bit, like have a chat for a good while. With masc people, the sexual attraction pretty much HAS to follow romantic attraction. I casually dated a guy for a bit, I didn't like him in a romantic way at all, and sex with him felt off. Sex didn't feel off with the women I slept with, though they were acquaintances, and neither did it feel off with my ex or my current, male, partner.

I'm very comfortable with myself these days and very open about my identity. I think it did help that I was openly bi before I got together with my current (and hopefully forever) boyfriend. We do have to have some conversations about me not identifying as a woman (not as any gender, in fact) and what that means for his sexuality. He doesn't have to label himself, he can even keep calling himself heterosexual as far as I'm concerned (and it isn't anyone else's concern either!) because he loves me for who I am and sees me and my identity the same way I see myself. We just need to check in every once in a while.

All in all, I'm very happy and content about my queer identity. It's greatly helped to have two very close friends who went through similar things. Like, same school, similar experience in the community, similar timeline in coming out. I've also been lucky to have had private access to the internet from age 15 onwards. Online communities and resources can help tremendously.

Fuck the vaccines cause autism argument. Like even if it were true. I'm autistic. You're telling me you'd rather your child die than be like me? Speaks volumes to how much hate you have both for people like me and your own child.

If I quit uni today and applied for social security and unemployment pay I'd be way better off financially. A friend of mine actually did that for a semester when she was desperate, despite being a keen and interested student. Not being in education or training can be temporarily easier than being in education or training.

I've heard them called mail carriers. It's more precise, for example my mum is a postal worker, but doesn't carry mail (she has an office job with postal services).

I admire the way you can frame something that might be considered a bad thing into a good thing. That's a good life skill to have. Best of luck to you.

People aren't a monolith and all have different needs. Can we as a society finally get to a point where we acknowledge that, be ok with it, and accommodate everyone's needs where possible? Otherwise, what's the point of society?

Force me to participate in a system where I gave myself burnout working enough to be allowed to be alive on a post scarcity continent

I spent all of my teenage years in the closet and I did indeed watch YouTube as a kid

I've had 'missent to Australia; try Austria' hand written on a parcel, so I didn't know that!

Not quite as fun but my mum works for postal services in Austria and there's a special stamp for mail accidentally sent to Austria instead of Australia

My phone warns me I've been listening to music at a dangerous volume for a dangerous amount of time 100% of the time when I'm driving and listening via aux.

Why would this be the tipping point after everything else they've done? They've also done this exact thing many times across the globe. (Wanted to post an example, but there's a LOT coming up when you google 'nestle drought', so I didn't want to post just a small part)

Hm, I lived with him and his family for half a year when we were both 16 and most people seemed to drink this much tea

That's a great mindset to have! I'm similar in that I like change, but there's a few thing I tend to miss about my home (specific people and the mountains, most notably). Glad to hear you're enjoying it!

If you forget to salt the pasta water, there's no way of making it taste as if you had. And even if the salt dissolves well in the sauce, it won't permeate whatever chunky things there might be in the sauce as if you'd salted a lit bit every step of the way. But yeah, it'll be ok, even if it won't be as good as it would have been. (I know you didn't say it would be the same, just wanted to add).

How old were you during the move? Was it a big adjustment? Do you miss anything about your life in the US?

I don't know anything about Bhutan, mind you

Ich find noch einen wichtigen Unterschied, ob die, die die Witze machen, selbst der Gruppe angehören, die Gegenstand der Witze sind. Ich als queere weiße Person zB mache sehr gern ähnliche Witze wie deine Freunde, würde das aber im Traum nicht über nicht-weiße Personen machen. Weil nur 'Betroffene' entscheiden können, was ok ist und was nicht.

I do it like that, but it has backfired before. I posted a resume that mentions I can code to a teaching position (Highschool maths). Not relevant to the job at all. Got the job. Some random admin person remembered I can write code and that meant that every other teacher should address their IT questions to me. No extra pay and I had to explain Microsoft software a lot of the time, which I don't even use.

Im in the alps, so I have the privilege of having access to virtually free and safe to drink, but also tasty. It's the cheapest, easiest way to do something good for my health, so i do it. 2-3 litres is usually the recommendation i see and hear everywhere.

Tbh I sometimes drink close to 4 litres, i have to watch my electrolytes more than anything.

is he not dead

He's doing great. He's Irish (as in, born, raised, and living in Ireland), I think it's pretty normal over there