Hopefully none.

I found out I was bisexual when I was 23 or so, in 1998. I was in the U.S. Navy. I was a submariner. There was a guy named J.J. that I was hanging out with a lot. Not so much off the boat, but when we were on watch together or underway we'd talk. I had a dim realization that I really liked hanging out with him and talking, a little more than I did with other people, but it was nowhere near a realization of what was to come. I was walking back to the barracks one afternoon with another one of my shipmates, and he said something about J.J. being "funny" or "bent" or some such euphemism. Something hit me. I carefully asked him what he meant. He said, "Oh, he's gay." ... Holy cow it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that instant that I was attracted to J.J. and that that was what I'd been feeling around him.

I had known that I was into girls, but this guy thing was new to me. I spent a good year or two after that questioning my sexuality and experimenting (in my head) with what actually I was into. But really, that moment when I realized I'd been attracted to J.J. was all it took. I knew then I was bi, and all the questioning and exploring since has only confirmed it over and over again.

I did, though, start piecing together some past experiences. For example, I had another shipmate who was quite swishy. Definitely gay, especially considering that this was during the U.S. military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" period. To be that outwardly gay at that time meant you couldn't act straight even if you wanted to, because you'd definitely want to. He got a brick through his windshield once, and I'm sure he often felt unsafe. But anyway, there was an instance some time prior where I was standing somewhere and as he passed me by he poked me in the stomach and said something cute. It made me feel good, even though I wasn't attracted to him. But I didn't make the connection then that I was queer.

And then there was the neighbor boy when I was in high school. So cute! He played guitar and had long hair. I liked when he came around and I remembered feeling a certain way around him. I even bought him a magazine about his favorite musician and delivered it to his house a day or two before I left for the Navy. Boys giving gifts to other boys? Who does that? I did.

Oh, and the time I wrote a short story about a sexual encounter between two people from the perspective of the woman, and then my homophobic dad found it in my pants pocket. He wasn't very happy. He called me a removed. You'd've thought that I would have started questioning my sexuality at that point, but no. I was oblivious. Maybe autism had something to do with that.

It's been twenty-some years now, and I've had wonderful experiences with both guys and gals. I like being bisexual. It's just a part of me that I get to experience, and it's a community of people that are cool to be around. The world of LGBT people has changed a lot since I came out to myself. I never actually hid my sexuality from anyone ever, but that was made easier by the fact that I'm fairly straight acting and I do still like women, so I pass as straight easily, even when I don't want to. But nowadays you almost don't have to hide it anyway. It seems like people don't need to pass their whole lives now in the closet. At least not after becoming an adult.

I've told upfront every partner I've been with since. I told my Dad before he passed away. He was okay with it, I think. He was already thinking about his mortality at that point, so he didn't have much energy left for hate. I told my Mom. She was a little uncomfortable with it, but embraced me and told me she loved me. I've spent time at any Pride Center I've been around, and I was on the board of the Pride Center in the last place I lived.

It's now very common for people to call themselves "pansexual" instead of "bisexual". I asked my last girlfriend what she meant when she said she was pansexual. She tried to explain it, but it just sounded like bisexual to me. She told me that bi people only like cis men and cis women. That's demonstrably not true, but she didn't appreciate it when I told her that. (Ah yes, still an aspie, I am.) When I say bi, I just mean that I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted -- romantically and/or sexually -- to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree. Nowhere in my understanding of being bi does being cis or trans come in. And that's how I understand the pansexual identity as well. I've also since had a few periods of gender fluidity, but nothing lasting, and I am polyamorous.

And proud!

We're not worthy.

Because tomorrow is a holiday and therefore a day off. And ain't nobody wants to get paged on a day off because you made some dumb change that caused a production outage.

Well said. I feel like an anarchist society would have to figure out problems like that.

That makes sense. Is there some way to determine what is justified and what's not?

Poor Rudy.

Yeah, by posting here I was hoping someone would elaborate on the hierarchy part, in particular. I don't understand it.

I wonder what they'll do with the old ones? Government auction site maybe?

Yeah because I thought "no government" was central to the very concept of anarchism. I'm really surprised to learn otherwise.

That makes sense to me.

Okay. Maybe someone else can explain.

But that's what people say about bosses. You don't like this one, go get a different one. I'm not understanding the difference in terms of hierarchy and power and so on.

Anarchists want government?

It doesn't seem that different, in essence. He could withhold his service and let my bathroom flood.

That's what was in my clipboard.

I'm not sure where this is from, but I like it.

What counts as hierarchy? Like, if I pay a plumber to fix my plumbing problems because I don't know how to, does that imply some hierarchy between us?

Oh. That does make it a little less cool. But only a little.

You rock.