What’s the worst Harry Potter theory you’ve ever heard?

Oh boy, where to begin? There's a bunch that range from implausible, to unsettling, to simply absurd:

Crookshanks used to live with the Potters
Hagrid is a Death Eater
Voldemort's rudimentary body was Bertha Jorkins' unborn child
Draco actually loved Hermione
McGonagall had an affair with Crookshanks
Harry hallucinated the events of all seven books
Wizards used to sh*t on the floor and vanish the evidence
Snape was Harry's real father the whole time
Mrs Norris is a maledictus and Filch's wife
Voldemort secretly had a daughter

Voldemort secretly having a daughter isnt just a fan theory, "Delphi" is a character in "The Cursed Child" and plays a pivotal role in the plot - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Cursed_Child. Since JK Rowling was involved in the play, she considers it cannon (however terrible a play and decision that may be).
- Haha, good catch. I concede that its not a bad theory in that case, it's... just bad. Same with wizards sh*tting on the floor, actually.
I'm pretty sure the shitting on the floor theory is actually a quote from the fourth book, also they don't wear underwear when wearing tunics and robes
- It is not from a book, but I think Rowling made the statement herself on pottermore or its Twitter account. In my opinion it doesn't make any sense though as firstly the vanishing spell is too complex for pupils under grade ~4 and secondly why would there be all the pipes in Hogwarts then? Did Salazar Slytherin secretly plumb through the whole castle for his little snakey to murder sneakily and nobody noticed?
- no and no

Horcrux Harry caused the Dursley's to be awful

Which this one isn't too crazy I guess

Horcrux Harry isn’t that bad of a theory IMO. 🤷🏻‍♂️
- I'd agree - plus it's interesting to think what might have become of the Dursley's of they hadn't had to watch over him then.
  
  I think my main question with it is that no one else Harry spends a lot of time with turns that way. Although, you could definitely argue that it's because everyone else are wizards, or that the others he did live with were at Hogwarts and there's some sort of protection.
  
  Dumbledore also may have figured out horcruxs sooner to if Harry was infecting the Dursley's
  
  Theory has a lot going for it though!
I like the werewolf one.

If you seek to destroy the individually evil without dealing with the structural problems of your society, you safe the world.

Great take on liberalist contrafactual ideology in harry potter (core of the matter in 2nd half): https://youtu.be/-1iaJWSwUZs?si=s38CyAHt_ieW50Im

Huh, thanks for sharing. I haven't finished it yet, but it is an interesting analysis so far, if a bit dry and long.
- You just described shaun to a tea. Fantastic analysis, bit dry and long.
  
  Love his work

I actually don't know many Harry Potter theories, which one does do you know about?

do you have a worst one?

The picture probably refers to the "Ron is Dumbledore theory" https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-dumbledore-time-travel-ron-theory-explained/
- thanks! that was a fun read.
  
  now I want to read all those theories.

It's not a bad theory per se. Filch is a poltergeist. If Peeves is the manifestation of the students rule breaking and mischief, then Filch is the manifestation of the staff attempting to get the very same students to obey the rules. It nicely explains what the heck he is even doing there.

It of course doesn't explain what the heck Mrs. Norris was doing. She's clearly not a poltergeist, as she gets killed in CoS

as she gets killed in CoS

She's not killed, just petrified. They revive her at the end along with Hermione, Justin, Colin, and Penelope.
- Ahh, haven't read the books or seen the movies in years, my mistake

I thought the Pic implied catholic shenanigans between the boy and old man.

is this part of the movie with their "wands choosing the wizard " line?

i dunno haven't see it.

If you haven't heard about Snapewives, then perhaps you should look up this video A Deep Dive into Potterheads - Invidious link

Hermione is black