Generally for me at this point in my life ..... if I can't have a peaceful time with certain people, I definitely won't want to spend time with them. Even if it means disappointing family and friends. I do not want to spoil my good time with people I love and like by being around people who will give me a hard time or be difficult.
I also don't enjoy holiday gatherings anyway because they're too forced and artificial and formal.
I instead go see those people I like and love throughout the year on a nice summer day, a day at the lake, at a nice restaurant, camping, or just being with them at their house doing nothing but being together.