That funny feeling

That's when you stretch it out more and face your fears

i've dove into the cramp saying fuck you to the universe, and i've tried to ignore it, and i've tried to hyperventilate through it, nothing makes it go away any quicker
- Tonic water. The sharp bitter tricks your brain. Added benefit if you find a brand that still has quinine, as quinine is proven to have a preventative effect on cramps over time.
  
  Note that doctors consider quinine dangerous due to other issues
Friend came limping over one day. Our other friend watched him rolling around in agony for almost 20 minutes.

"Dude! You can stretch it and it goes away instantly!"
- That's for a normal cramp. There are cramps that stretching does not help and you're just going to be in pain for the next 3 to 5 days.
  
  Those are the fucking worst.
Uhm, no, sorry, I'd prefer being able to move my legs during the day.

I don't have calf cramps, but sometimes I'll be flexing my toes and I'll feel one start to fire up a cramp, and it's a fast-paced high-stakes game of Operation, where I keep moving my toe around trying to find the magic relaxation spot, while it sends off more and more alarming pre-cramp warning buzzes. (That may not be a perfect metaphor but I got tired of thinking of board games. I also considered Battleship.)

A high stakes game of "Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck"

What works for me is immediately pulling my foot back in an L shape as hard as I can.

Yeah but to do that I have to stand up or have something to force my foot against to actually bend it.
- I can just pull my foot back by itself. Must be really bad cramps if you can't do that!
- From what I've read, you should avoid using external influences to fix cramps, as they could easily damage your tendons.
  
  Very much not an expert, though.
Yeah this. Nowadays I can usually stop it or at least make it way lighter by just moving my foot in the right position again. It has almost become a reflex at this point

If you feel your calf cramping up you should sit up in bed, straighten the troublesome leg, then grab your toes. I think it's called the seated toe touch.

I like to jump out of bed and put weight on the leg.

That is if my blanket doesn’t trip me.
- My roommate told me about this strat and it has saved my life.

Someone explained to me that all you have to do is get out of the bed and immediately stand on it and the cramp generally won't happen or will be much milder. Tested and it works like a charm.

This is the correct answer. The first time it cramped, my wife was begging me to stand on it as I massaged it while screaming in agony. The second time it happened she wasn't home, so I decided to just try what she had told me to do and poof the pain disappeared.
Take magnesium supplements every now and then to stop cramps from happening.

I didn't know this was common for other people. I've always viewed my capacity to cause what should be a sporting injury from lying in bed as a uniquely personally shameful indictment.

And then there's me, intentionally causing foot cramps to revel in the feeling.

c/unpopularopinion
Brother, I've found my tribe at last
- Hmm, I uh wish to understand your tribe's idealogy before forming my opinion on this matter.

The long term solution is to increase the amount of potassium you consume.

Also regular exercise reduces cramps.
Yep, most people are deficient.

Started drinking 500mL–1L of coconut water every day. Cramps are gone forever now. Learn to like the taste if you don't. It'll extend your life.
- Bananas should also work. And magnesium, which is easy to supplement.

ooooo you're about to have a nasty couple minutes where you wonder why got hates you so much

A couple of minutes of eternity.

I got these almost every morning when I was pregnant. Thankfully they only lasted a few minutes (besides a soreness for the rest of the day), but they sucked. I had to train myself to not move my legs in my sleep.

I don't get the calf cramps, but foot or ribs. Ribs are the fucking worst because hiw the fuck do you stretch that out?! I can only reach up so high! It's not fair!

Bend to the sides. Like, bend your trunk left and reach your right arm over your head to the left, then do the reverse. Stretches all those side muscles around the ribs and stomach.
- I try this and it sometimes helps, but sometimes the "crunching" side starts to throw a cramp too. I should eat more bananas...
I get the rib cramps sometimes. Hanging down from a door frame sometimes helps. Just dont rip the door frame off.
- One of the previous owners of my house believed in rolling dice for how many Brad nails to use. It could contain anywhere from 1 to 100 in the casing.
Take a deep breath and hold it couple of seconds.

or thigh. thighs are bigger. badder.

Drink water. Fix your shitty diet. Eat bananas or sweet potatoes or other sources of potassium. Take dietary magnesium supplements or use the topical magnesium stuff (like Theraworx foam) on your affected muscle groups before bed.

By doing the above, I went from frequently having calf cramps to never having calf cramps.

Ooh that’s rough just like that time when you feel like you’re falling.

The best feeling. Sometimes I induce it just a bit to feel that sexy ahh tightness in my calves, there's really nothing like it.

Hello? Police? Yes, this comment here.
I am perplexed by you, but I am glad that you have something that makes you happy.
Best feeling? Calf cramps are horrendous. I've spent many nights at tournaments walking the hotel lobby in the middle of the night.