I’m ready to go to bed but it’s currently illegal to move, open to suggestions.

Succumb.

This is your life now.

Soooo cute

Learn to throw your voice until you can “pspsps” from down the hall.

Try en passant

Sleeping on the couch with a fur blanket is always a viable option.

Get an accomplice to open a can of tuna.

Just doze off if you've already brushed your teeth

Defenestration