The Onion @midwest.social ZeroCool @slrpnk.net 1w ago

Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All

thehardtimes.net Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All

Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

16 comments

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!
- The cousins from Miami got me
  
  The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.
- I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.
  
  Was not disappointed!
Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"
- Somebody was on reddit today
- Oh yooooou! I love this comment!
So glad his schedule freed up
- He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?
  
  He’d probably prefer middle school
I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars
- This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.
  
  This one can take over breitbart or oan.
Punks probably drooling in anticipation
TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence

16 comments