8 years of "Show us your birth Certificate" from these weirdos

I’m hearing…many people…many of the top people who know about these things…are saying…very strongly…so I don’t know, but we’ll be looking into it very soon.

and he hasn't denied it

The best people.

Hooooooly shit this is a good one

What? He doesn't pay very good attention to politics, you can't blame him!

We're truly living through peak politics. This made me ugly snort like the guy in this video: https://youtu.be/h232bilq8eQ

"sToP bEiNg MeAn!!!"

-the party of "fuck your feelings" who calls everyone snowflakes

The only time I ever shut up my bitch of a mother bout politics was shortly after Obama won and she was complaining about something stupid.

"What happened to, 'It's un-American to complain about the Commander-in-Chief?' "

"You complained about Bush all the time!"

"Because I believe it's my civic responsibility to hold my leaders accountable. But you said over and over that was wrong. Did you change your mind, or is it only un-American to criticize the president you like?"

She was (probably still is) a malignant narcissist, so I paid for that, but the satisfaction of seeing her grasp for straws was worth it.

The first I heard that quote was from Rick and Morty. Does it have an older origin or did a Rick and Morty quote actually stick in the cultural zeitgeist I wonder?

... Somebody needs to take this image and make it the background for a JD Vance Linux distro. That shit would be even more of a meme than Hannah Montana

I'm stealing this. I've been posting a JD couch or dolphin meme on my Mastodon every day and plan on continuing to do so for the foreseeable future. This is definitely going into the queue.

I have to make a confession, my brain immediately parsed this image as a Linus tech tips thumbnail.

Hey, I love couches, they fuck them.

"Now watch as I abuse my pregnant wife because I'm a 30-something babydick"

Nah, Elon was clearly trying to pull a pump and dump. However the feds had been monitoring his propensity to buy a bunch of stock, announce buying a controlling amount, then sell the stock he had, when the line went up, due to his announcement. This time the SEC filed suit and he was forced to go through with the purchase, under the contract they had, because this time he crossed the line into federal prison behavior.

Once he had to spend 44 billion on it, he had to do something with it. He had no idea how twitter actually worked, how it really made its money, or why the moderation was the way it was. So he ran in like a bulldozer, fucking around the the corporate structure, in hopes the excitement of change would make line go back up, and he could sell without losing all 44 billion. This didn't work, he turned it into a shit show, and his narcissism drives him double down, and do things specifically because the public at large hates it, out of spite. However his C levels, and investor's board, are also forcing him to make the place profitable again, lest they make a large legal case against him.

So here we are.

Sending TikTok thots and playas.

Tots and pears*

They think Kamala sounds foreign enough to make the racists mad.

See also "Barack HUSSEIN Obama." Which Trump uses regularly on his dumb website.

Actually it would because their whole thing is that a brown woman is undeserving of that respect. She needs to be a Proper Minority Woman - pumping out babies (but not too many, as to not out-reproduce white 'Muricans) and being exploited by corporations while supporting her White Alpha Male cuck husband.

If that's why people refer to politicians by first name, why does everyone say Bernie instead of Sanders? Or Teddy instead of Roosevelt?

I think the rule is that you get first name treatment if you're further left than a neoliberal, or if you have a more famous relative.

Politicians are called by their more interesting name, but hundreds of years of male rule have rendered all male given names boring and all female given names exciting

Personally, I'm inclined to use Kamala Harris' first name just because it's fun to say. It has a rhythm and repetition to it. Also, we've already had a President Harrison, so it distinguishes her.

With Hillary Rodham Clinton, I usually used her first name, initials, or full name to distinguish her from her husband. As much as I loath that she was always in his shadow, she was a force to be reckoned with. They may be a power couple, but she deserves her own recognition.

As for Tim Walz, Tim is just too common and uninteresting. Walz has character and it's close to waltz.

That drove me crazy in 2016 and I've been pleasantly surprised that, outside of weirdos on Twitter, it's mostly been called the HARRIS campaign.

How... how do you talk someone you've never met into shaving his beard?

Why did you make me look this up.

He looks like a fatter Young Republican Tyler Labine.

https://ohiocapitaljournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/GettyImages-813399326.jpg

Weird Ohioans saying "fuck your couch"

JD Vance 🤝Dave Chappelle

Someone told me once never trust the words that come before the "but" or after "honestly" and i don't know where they heard it from...

Honestly, I don't trust this part of your statement.

Who throws a shoe? Honestly?

Good rule of thumb. Occasionally it doesn't work but usually it's on point.

Oh that's a good one! It's like that thing about any headline ending in a question mark can be answered with "no".

Which it turns out, after fact checking myself, is called Betteridge's Law of Headlines

Shouldn't it be don't trust the words before but?" Nice thing, but bad thing. "

So you haven't found it to be almost a universally true and useful trick.

Bruh your candidate is on video bragging about how he rapes women and gets away with it because he is famous

I'm out of the loop, what's the deal with dolphins?

I mean we're just asking questions here. It would be very simple for him to unambiguously disavow his couch and dolphin fetish, so by choosing to stay silent it seems as if he is choosing to let us work from our own assumptions.

The couch one is so much more believable that it sticks better. Like they're trying to push that Tim walz drinks horse cum but it's so stupid it hasn't spread much. Now if they targeted vaush with that rumor...

Maybe next time you will estimate me