I thought they'd be fapping to Dear Leader

Boggles the mind to think stepmoms will prevent WW3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0T0z1GFMeI

Just gotta send over some hookers

Imagine being an adult raised without all-you-can-stomach porn and suddenly getting access to the Internet.

SO. MANY. BLISTERS.

" I can't fire my rifle! My hand is cramped up!"
- My "pistol" is out of ammo!
- I'm leaving, hot babes 3 km to the north!
- Fapping to save lives
- ddfed seeded eucalyptus ee
Those of us who grew up before the internet have experienced that.
- We had a couple decades of slow acclimatization: crappy black and white scans, weird CGA scans, glorious 16 colors, all of which had to be painstakingly downloaded at 2400 baud or less, then finally lifelike 256 color images. And then tiny gifs or videos that would take all night. In the semi modern era, there was crappy filesharing where you could type search strings in and hope for the best (and enough seeds).
  
  But these poor bastards are going from zero straight to pornhub.
- Eh, y'all got that pornography sent to you 3 pixels at a time, that hardly counts as 'all you can stomach porn'. Waiting between each line of your image is barely equivalent to today's hard hitting porn problems such as videos buffering (though it's an amusing comparison now that I think about it).
  
  A better comparison would be long term coma patients or people who've been in prison since the 90s.
- Me and my friends at 14.
- It's a lot different growing up as the internet did vs discovering it in 1 day
Had 15 year old pre-internet me been suddenly handed even the internet of say 1996 with its far smaller quantity of available porn, but with no gradual transition between my near-pornless world and that, I may very well have found a way to masturbate myself to death before I ever made it out of puberty.
- I don't know how kids today manage it tbh

"You now have access to the collective knowledge of the entire world."

"Nah, let me see the boobies!"

That's where it starts. Then once they find Wikipedia, it'll be a game changer.
- it might be the pessimist in me, or it might be the reality we're living in
  
  but if sheer access to Wikipedia cured you out of being a cultist- i don't think there'd be that many trump supporters
A surprising amount of technological development is for pornography. Video-casettes won out because pornography used them over laserdisc or betamax.
- I think you meant VHS won out. Betamax was also a video cassette format.
  
  And yes, porn had a lot to do with why VHS won!
- And secure online payments.
As is tradition dating back to cave paintings.
this is pretty much the most common response to AI as well
- Well with ai your choice is deeply flawed knowledge from a system that can't recognise it's own mistakes or semi-convincing generated pictures. It does one of these significantly better.
"Boobies but show them to me"

Do you think they'll fall victim to the ads since they've never experienced the internet before?

Hot chicks in your local Oblast, click here!!

The Russians have already been falling for it kind of, but then considering some of the reactions we saw from them at the start of the war to flushing toilets and the like, they might be new to this too..

Username checks out

"Unfettered" is a big word for the Russian internet.

In my experience using yandex, its a lot easier to find almost anything on the Russian internet

The milfs in their area may move them out of position

You know, we really should have a world wide Fap For Peace day. Like those "Pray for [insert thing]" days you sometimes hear about people doing.

Lucky for you :

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Annual_Global_Orgasm_for_Peace
- This is amazing! Why haven't I heard of this and why isn't it a bigger deal. The world needs this more than ever!
  
  Thank you for this!

Genuinely curious, what are they using to access the Internet? I'm struggling to believe they brought smartphones with them that are universally compatible with the cell networks? Do they have PCs in the barracks and the dudes are just huddled around having the time of their lives?

WiFi is a standard protocol. Russians are also clever with electronics. Gaining favor with the new guys is as easy as giving them an old phone. WiFi still works.

I don't think most people fighting for Russia are super indoctrinated on the Russian side; opportunistic, morally corrupt, maybe, but not super jaded. Even if you're fighting in dubious circumstances, the level of NK dystopian cult insanity is next level crazy. I can't picture anyone that is around those guys being totally passive about the extent of bowdlerization and disinformation present in NK. Like you've got a bigger humanitarian obligation to show those kids that they are living in The Hunger Games IRL.
- They’re also using Starlink apparently (eeewwwww)
- I would expect it would be some kind of landline unless it is far away from the front. A lot of people have gotten killed because they had a device that was transmitting that could be targeted by missiles and drones.
I am going to guess they have WiFi access points.
One computer, many guys was how the world of porn was for a while. Printed shit off for "personal care" later.
I can't imagine why they would have phones of any kind, let alone smartphones. If there's any truth to this article I'd say it's the Russians who went like 'Oh, you've never seen porn before? Well check this out!'
Supposedly Russia's military comms were so terrible that they ended up adopting smart phones en masse and use plain old cellular and messaging apps like Telegram instead.
- The drones kept cutting the strings between the yogurt pots.

Next week after they discover American food

We haven't ruled out the possibility of Dear Leader porn. Also have the state-approved stuff like Debbie Does DPRK, Backdoor Kim Sluts, Taepo-dong and Juche Bottom Babes.

It's a sad day for Rule 34.

When I read gorging on

I live in the free world and I gorge on pornopgraphy too. And food as well!

Quality journalism

I love how people will just believe anything

Don't underestimate the rabid racism of progressives
- Never underestimate tankies throwing around terms like racism without understanding what they mean
- I hear you, but unfortunately your username ends in .ml