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I've mastered the art of going to the bathroom to piss without fully waking myself up
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Bedwetting?
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Dude, that's the dream.
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Hopefully not literally
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Wet dream
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I don't wake up at all. 2/10, would not recommend. 3/10 with rice
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Please teach me your ways
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He calls his bed “bathroom” and just pisses himself
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Keep your eyes open only enough to not bump into stuff. Close when not needed
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Use a bottle (don't do this).
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The solution is to stop drinking any liquids like 4 hours before bed and pee right before bed. That way you can just become dehydrated overnight which means that when you wake up you will want water desperately which will help you get your ass out of bed too
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Liquids aren't even the issue. Salt is. Every time I gorge myself on some smoked salmon before bedtime I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night. Apparently getting rid of some salt is somehow now important than a good night's sleep. My bladder isn't going to corrode just because I have slightly more salt in it. Let me fucking sleep!
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Your entire nervous and vascular system reading this be like am I a joke to you
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Condom catheters, my dude. It's a catheter you don't have to insert. Just gotta get used to pissing the bed again.
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My bed shares a wall with the toilet. I’ve been debating routing the plumbing in to the closet and installing a urinal.
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Urinal in the toilet or bedroom? In case you wanna Min Max it
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The toilet and shower are opposite my closet wall. I’d really only need a drain and a bottle of water to wash it down. I’d turn half my closet in to a washroom I guess.
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Use the window
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Catheter required less plumbing and is only moderately more gross
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Yeah but that doesn't fix the problem of having to out of bed. Once I do that, there's no going back to sleep. I'm up for the rest of the day, too tired to accomplish anything.
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It saves me from having to walk all the way around and bang my knee on the coffee table or whatever
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That's me every single night
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stop having liquids 3 hours before bedtime.
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You can't tell me what to do!
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You should be fine as long as you wear those magical pants to sleep in as well.
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Pssshh, then how would I drink myself to sleep.
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What if Im thirsty?
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After I wake up and take my nightly midnight turd sesh (all y'all lucky piss losers) I drink about as much water as I pissed away. What's the point of having a fancy water bottle if you don't use it and keep it full of ice water 24/7
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It’s called a catheter! Does not everyone use one every night!?!??!? /s
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Body: you're so thirsty. dehydrated. tongue sticking to your mouth, so thiiiiirsty. go pee eight times before falling asleep and evacuate every fluid ounce of fucking water in your body for no reason thiiiiiiirsty
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Those bottles from the hospital work fine. You just turn to the side and that’s it. No need to go to the bathroom.
